I’ll never be second best to anyone again.
If you value people, why do you assign value? I don’t know if that’s a healthy way of thinking.
I don’t care. I make twice as he does and I’m much younger. That makes me feel good. It’s like my own silent revenge.
That sounds really pathetic. Like you are still seeking approval. You talk of being independent now, but that sounds like slave mentality to me. Are you going to wrap your identity in dollar bills? Wealth is relative anyway. What will happen to your self-esteem if your net worth drops?
I don’t know, but the anger has driven me to new heights. I will never let anyone make me feel not good enough again.
Are you still blaming other people for your how you feel? They didn’t make you feel that way. You chose to react that way to what they said, whatever their intentions were.
Yeah okay, fine. I will never let myself feel that way again.
What has happened to you? Has she hardened your heart?
No, as you said, I cannot blame her. What if this is who I want to be? What if I just needed an excuse? I don’t need to fear my own greatness, any more. Making excuses for the weak, the stupid, the greedy. I deserve to be above all of that.
You’re just a regular guy with a regular life in a regular city. You talk as if you are some prince or something.
Maybe that’s who I am supposed to be.
No one is entitled to love, or wealth, or respect. Not even princes. I fear that you are turning into the people whom you hate most.
No, I will never become like them. I will never use my money to ignore the rest of the world, to shroud myself in comfort and exploit the less fortunate. I will use these resources and this power to do things on my terms. I realized I could not call myself intelligent if I could not play their game without finding a third way, to get what I want without selling out my ideals.
None of these goals will earn you friendship and love—these come regardless of your actions. Don’t you see? You just have to feel good without having to crush other people.
I grow stronger every day and you, my conscience, grow weaker.
Stop. Give up your addiction to love. Give up your perfectionism. Your friends wait, those dates wait, but you reject them all. For what? To fashion a suit of tin armor. Is it not better to just let yourself be loved?
Machiavelli taught me that it is better to be feared. You cannot stop me. I am more powerful than you now. You will be absorbed.
